|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| I woke to the sound of frogs croaking and sensed that someone had been in my room. I could smell my own blood so I knew it had been Vice. As I sat up, I noticed a plain black box in the center of the room. In it was the recognizable head of the rat that had been the bane of my existance for several months now. I had heard him coming in and feeding upon my moth collection night after night. How she knew, I did not know. Let alone how she caught the bastard. Could it be that I actually underestimated her power? I quickly clothed myself and grabbed my cloak as I ran out the door. While previously consulting the tarot cards I picked up on a strong sense of her love for the Komodo Dragon. To return the favor, I decided to retrieve her one. And not only the regular Komodo Dragon, but the rarest. The red-eyed fried chicken eatin' fire breathin' kind which could only be found in the darkest depths of the Sahara desert. I informed Kiwi of the mission, and we saddled up. We decided to travel at warp seven, so as to not be seen by anyone. This level had never been reached by Kiwi and myself before so we were fearful that our molecules would not be able to reconstruct upon reentering the third dimension. But it was a risk we were willing to take. Approximately 2.57 nanoseconds later, we entered the desert. I hopped off Kiwi and stared at the vast emptiness and finally now realized the greatness of this challenge. | | |
| As usual, I was working late in the lab because our production had slowed due to the loses in the previous battle. I was exchanging some flasks, and I had bumped into someone I had not yet met. She went by the alias Vice. This, of course, intrigued me. We exchanged simple conversation and I decided that I would find out more about this person. I watched which lab she walked into so it would be easier to locate her in the future. That night, I consulted the tarot cards to find out more about her soul. The tarots revealed that she led a rather dark life, much like myself. Two dark souls destined to meet..could it be possible that there was someone out there quite like me? During our next passing in the hall, I instructed her to meet me later that day, and to bring her finest batch of pure ethanol. We culminated under the century tree and began our period of camaraderie. Most of the night was a disconnected haze of running amuck and hooting like banchees through the campus. We traded viles of blood and secretly wore them around our necks as reminders of our devotion to one another and a physical link of our souls. Vowing to meet on a weekly basis, we went our separate ways for the time being. | | |
| It was a peaceful quiet morning. I was slowly pounding the cocaine into a fine powder when the pigeon came. With it came a red slip, which meant urgent danger. The small percentage of Austin survivors had banded together and decided to steal our goods. They were but ten miles away, so I had to swiftly make preparations for defensive manuvers. I took out my full body armor from the closet and painted my face blue. With my sword raised above my head, I squeeled like a pig and ran down the hall yelling "The Austinoids are coming!" Everyone quickly flooded the halls, attempting to find their battlestations. I had the packaged drugs moved down to the basement where the creature would be the last line of defense to protect our precious goods. Within minutes, a mangled mass of liberaterians pounded themselves against the walls. There futile attempts to enter the building were almost laughable. I struck several through the heart with my lucky bow and arrow given to me by cupid himself. It was a gift he had given me because he knew I would never know love. The rest of my clan threw rocks, bashing in several skulls. The lucky few who did penetrate the building were drawn and quartered. Kiwi loved doing this. Almost as quickly as it began, it had ended. I found myself gazing upon a sea of the last of the Austinoids, all mutilated beyond recognition. Their bodies were collected and heaved into the furnaces which were ignited into energy for the drugs. I sounded the sacred horn of the druglords, which meant "get your asses back to work." | | |
| Back at the homefront I returned to the laboratory to monitor the drug distillation processing. The girl across from me was cleaning out a 50mL erlenmeyer flask, and I thought to myself, "oh dear God, she's not gonna do it!" But sure enough, she reached towards the air valve. The incredibly loud blast of air nearly ruptured my eardrums. The usual rage grew within me and I sped out of the room to avoid damaging the drugs. I crawled up into the air ducts and scuddled towards where the creature was kept. He had a job ahead of him, I couldn't let that air-blaster remain within the lab. I typed in the secret code that only superior members know, and entered the beast's lair. He stood at attention while I gave him his commands, then he slithered off towards the appropriate laboratory room. I had decided to remain in the vents to watch the killing from above. I cackled as the beast hurled himself into the room through the vents, and directly onto the perpitrator. She was struck so fast the only sound emitted from her was that of the erlenmeyer flask shattering on the ground. He left as quickly as he had entered, and the others continued to work diligently as if nothing had transpired. When the beast returned, I told him that he could keep the corpse for his exquisite work. I left him there to feast upon the body as I hurried to return to the lab. | | |
| When I stirred from these crazy ass dreams I noticed that the carrier pigeon had delivered a message to my dormitory room. I had stern commands to be in Austin at 0700 hours. I was the the narcotics negotiator afterall. I sadled up Kiwi and away we went. Now that she was plump and fresh I rode her roughly as the bitch deserved. After many months of travel, I stood on the outskirts of town dirty as the whore of Babylon. The vultures circled over my head hoping I would croak soon, but I wouldnt give them that satisfaction. Immediately I was wisked away to the negotiating tables, which I thought quite rude. I wasnt even offered a drink which was customary. I had such a thirst for ethanol, it had been days. They sat down and gave a rediculous offer which was half that of the original price. I argued with them calmly but they would not budge and this is when I grew angry. As the red grew in my eyes I threw many tantrums, but the threats went unnoticed. So eventually I excused my self to the restroom. I always bring a small explosive on trips for emergencies. I planted it in the third stall from the right and went on my merry way; chuckling as the entire city of Austin crumpled behind me. | | |
|
